Friendship
by Lost Seeress
Summary: What happens when best friends share a forbidden hidden love for one another?
1. Chapter 1

Okie so here it is. A new story. It's probably gonna be a one shot as it is though I'd like to write more but meh that depends on what you guys think. I haha honestly am nervous about this story. Its new territory for me so I would like to hear what you guys think. As it stands its fine. So if you don't like it I don't have to continue. Lol I'm not even expecting anything. So thank you to those you read this story.

**bolded** represents actions 

I can't help the tears streaming down my cheeks as I walk to the only place that I can truly feel comforted. Sweets and Sins, a erotic food bakery owned by my best friend, Sesshomaru Taisho. Yes I know that he is a youkai and that youkai and ningen did not get along. I knew all this but he had always been my best friend and I think that he would always be. Don't get me wrong; Sesshomaru did not like humans as a principle yet he and I had always had an understanding. Since that time so long ago, that incident that we do not talk about.

Right now I needed him so badly. It's almost desperation. As I rush down the crowed Friday night streets, blindingly bumping into people as my tears suffocate me. At any other time I would have been so humiliated at crying in public but you see today was supposed to be the most special day of my life. No one can blame me for crying. It feels like my heart is breaking… well maybe it is. That's why I need Sesshomaru. I feel the pressure in my chest and it threatens to rush out as a scream

_Why had I been such a fool? I should have known. God I should have known._

**I can't stop the self-deprecating thoughts and I feel my throat work on a painful swallow. I struggle to fight the pain that threatens to over come me. I hardly hear the hustle around me as my mind wonders, struggling to contain the pain of an overwhelming heart break.**

Why am I crying you wonder. Ha I am such an idiot. Why would I have ever thought... God and I think about all those times that I had… **my thought trails way as I struggle on a sob. I can feel the on coming head ache. Fighting the tears always brings it on. I know my eyes are probably red rimmed right now but I cant even care..**

He told me he loved me.

That jerk.

I gave myself to him. I gave him my innocence! I thought I was special. It all started about a month ago. I am a history major at Tokyo University. I've always loved history. I think that stemmed from the fact that my best friend is hundreds of years old and he use to tell me all those wonderful stories about our past. Well okay most of it was bloody but there was such beauty to it. The traditions and all, that well I knew listening to him, I wanted to explore that field.

The Semester had just started and I was so excited. I could hardly wait. I could imagine it. Just like when I used to be in high school. After school I'd go to Sweets and Sins and Sesshomaru and I would go in the back of his store and work, talk, eat and just enjoy each others company. I think back then I even had a crush on him. Maybe I still did but I never wanted to jeopardise our friendship.

But as they always say, the best laid plans of mice and man, for on that first day of class we met our TA. Now I know I'm not much of a looker. I'd pass as average on an extraordinary day so I never dreamt of there being more between us than my admiration of him from afar. But then he had spoken to me. I never understood why he would come to me instead of all the other beautiful girls who had made it plainly obvious that they would give him anything.

But his words… **I cant stop the tears as they rush out hotly.** His words had been so beautiful to this love starved woman. He'd told me that I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He had said that he wanted to give me the moon, and sing songs to my beauty. He said…. **I can feel my throat tightening as I remember all his whispered promises. His words of love for me.** I was so stupid. But no one had ever said that to me before. **My face scrunches up, my eyes clenched tight as I remember that particular day. I cant help pressing a hand to my lips to try t stifle the sobs that had already began. It's so hard to breath**

If only I had listened to Sesshomaru. Just remembering how I had shouted at him when he tried to warn me. It makes my heart hurt. But how could I be blamed. I was twenty years old and apart from a mild interest from a childhood friend I had never had a boyfriend. Could you blame me for not wanting it to end? You can't blame me for it. How can you even think something like that? I had no experience. I knew that Sesshomaru was my friend and he was looking out for me but I didn't want those wonderful feelings to end. Can't you understand that?

Yea I told him I hated him and I never wanted to see him again and it's been over a week and I haven't seen him since but I didn't mean it. I really didn't mean it. I love him. He's the best friend I've ever had. But he was being so cruel in that way he's so famous for. He was telling me… oh I don't care that he was right. It was just… it felt like he was being mean. I mean Kouga had been the only male to ever show interest in me _ever_ and he was like saying how Kouga was a playboy and he just wanted to fuck me. He actually said _fuck_! I had never heard him say such before and it shocked me. And before I knew it, we were shouting at each other saying horrible things.

But he is my best friend and I need him right now. You see… **I can't help the bitter laugh that mingles with my tears as I think of it.** Before that huge fight I had with Sesshomaru, Kouga and I had been having such a great time. At least I thought that we were. I used to think that we would get married and I'd have his children and it made me feel… I felt such awe in thinking that I would be his one and only. I knew that I wanted him to be my first. Of course now I realise that that had just been infatuation but how was I to know that back then? I had been blinded by my first crush.

Even so I had been worried about giving myself to him. I admit that I was scared okay? I had never done it before and I didn't know how to do _it_ I head that it hurt a little and well I didn't want to disappoint him because ten he wouldn't love me anymore. I was afraid that he would take his love back and I would have done anything to keep it. But that fight with Sesshomaru had been the catalyst. I remember how upset I was. God if I could have, I'd have beaten him up. And he had looked at me with such superiority.

Okay so I went to Kouga's house for the wrong reason. I just had to prove him wrong. Kouga loved me. He wasn't just looking to "fuck" me. He loved me. Fine! Leave me alone. So I wanted to prove Sesshomaru wrong. Its just he had played on one of my insecurities. He had so bluntly pointed out that someone like Kouga could never love me. I wasn't his type. "Kouga likes gorgeous girls with big boobs," Yea well he hadn't told any of those "Gorgeous girls with big boobs" that he loved them. He's said that to _me_ . Why did he have to take that away? **I can feel myself becoming angry again just remembering it all but what's worse is that he had been right and all I wanted now was to go to him and hug him and ask him to forgive me**

See on that day I'd gone to Kouga's house and I forced him to have sex with me. Notice I didn't say make love? I know I'm inexperienced but I just know that that was not it. That just can't be it. He didn't seem like the same Kouga who had said those things to me.

He was grunting and panting over me and well I always imagined feelings of love and pleasure when making love but he didn't even seem to know it was me, like any female body would do and when he penetrated me god it hurt. He didn't even make sure I was ready, but I loved him and so I bared it for him. I held him and pretended that it felt good but the tears couldn't stop. Finally he gave a tiny shudder and he got off me.

There was no cuddling or talking of love, no warmth whatsoever. He just got off me, he didn't even look at me as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door. The silence… **I clench my eyes against the fresh wave of tears as I remember it.** He just got up and went into the bathroom and _nothing._ I lay there naked and disappointed. That couldn't be it is what I thought but I don't know. He didn't come out, so feeling humiliated I got dressed and told him I was leaving hoping against hope he would ask me to stay.

I think my heart died when I heard that grunt of acceptance. I left and convinced myself that it was my imagination. But I knew that was not so, when he started to avoid me. I'm so embarrassed to admit that I left several messages for him, but what can you expect? I gave myself to him. He was my first and shouldn't a woman be allowed to want to talk to the man who takes her virginity? I mean, I know this is the 21-century but I'm an old fashion woman.

But today, after days of no response, he finally made it all clear.

**I can see Sweets and Sins up ahead. I'm so glad. I rush into the warm building hoping to see Sesshomaru but the place is packed. I guess I should expect that. It's selfish to expect he would be waiting for me at anytime. I know that he saw me enter so I just walk over to my usual sit and wait for him patiently.** I feel so pathetic sitting there in that booth, my eyes red from my eyes my skin blotchy and pink. I feel so stupid. **a fresh wave of tears follow that thought, splattering onto the clean wooden table**

I just want to die. I want to disappear. God make the pain stop. The man I had thought I loved. The man I had given myself to had completely humiliated me. I think I'm going into shock. Its like everyone's fading. I feel like I'm trapped, I don't even think I'm breathing anymore. I don't even care. I can die right now. Oh it would be so preferable to facing the truth. But I can't stop seeing him.

Kouga…

I gave you my love…

Yet I had not really loved you. I know that now. I know that I had been in love with the idea of _being_ in love. But it still hurt. I can still see the hatred in his eyes so clearly. Its pronounced and pointed. Right. At. Me. What did I ever do to deserve a look like that? Oh wait he's about to tell me. I can hear him as if he's right in front of me. And it's no surprise. It had been but a few hours ago. He had been so cruel. He callously humiliated me before a huge percentage of the school population.

"Why can't you stop bothering me you stalker? I don't want anything to do with you. In what world would someone like me love a pathetic ugly ningen like you? You disgust me. Leave me alone."

How could he be so harsh? Where did that sweet youkai go? **The tears are flowing freely now and well I don't care.** I just want to shrink into invisibility. Maybe I should just leave. I don't want to talk about this to Sesshomaru. He didn't think I was worthy of one of his fellow brethren youkai either. I'll just go home and never come out again.

**I get up to leave.** I'm sure he wont notice anyway. The store is hot and loud. It's almost cramped with customers so I can escape almost easily, unseen. As always. The world never changes. Someone like me. Such cruel words. But this was life and it was time I stopped living in a fairy tale. There is no prince who will look at me and love me completely with all his heart. Love did not exist and it was time I stopped wanting it.

**As I exit the building into the cold night air, I feel tight hands wrap around my wrists. **The grip was firm as I heard my name on the lips of the only person to ever matter to me. "Kagome," he sounded like he is in pain. I look into his eyes and he seemed anguished. I had forgotten that I was crying.

"Who made you cry Kagome? Was it that idiot?" he asks so gently as he wipes away my tears. His hands are so tender that it made me cry even more. I launch myself into his arms crying like my heart was breaking.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I can't stop the words or the tears. I just want him to hold me and tell me that it will be all right like he always does. As his arms tighten protectively around me I feel… treasured. Like I matter. He holds me to him as he comforts me. We don't say anything else. We just stand there in the cold, holding each other…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Written in a different style. When this scene is over with will go back to the style of the beginning and alternate. Please review. It truly gives me inspiration to write more even if you didn't like it tell me what you didn't like.  
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The two lone figures stood within each other's embrace as a dark cold night wrapped around them unseen. One sort comfort while the other only wanted o ease the pain that weighed on a heart he held so dear in regard. In a world their own, all around them went unseen as bonds of friendship began to fasten and reinforce itself once more. They had missed the other and being within familiar arms seemed to erase the pain that had been so carelessly inflicted.

The pale head of an angel rose, eyes clouded with the need for vengeance. But what he needed more was to ease the burden within the heart of his most cherished person. Clawed hands raised her delicate tear streaked cheeks in gentle so that his golden orbs could see within the pain filled depths of her sapphire ones.

Soft as a caress, his hands smoothed over her skin seeing to banish the tears that caused him so much pain. Their eyes caught in that moment and held. A scene frozen in time as similar thoughts rushed through their minds. Theirs was a friendship that had been forged through hardship and it would always remain solid no matter what.

"Let's go, Kagome. You can come home with me tonight. I won't let you go home in the state that you are in." Forever gentle with this fragile human, the fierce demon lord felt emotions swamp his heart. Where no other could affect him, she did. Had any other been in this position they would have surely gotten a cold dismissal.

A whimper of sorrow escaped her lips. The tiny hands around his masculine frame tightened slightly as if in fear of the world around. Soothing hands moved through her hair seeking to comfort. "Come on lets go. The others will handle the shop."

Keeping his arms around her, he walked them slowly to his car sensing that she needed the physical touch. She had been deeply hurt. Suspicion clouded his mind building the need for vengeance growing within him. He did not know what had happened but he would soon find out. He longed to see that sweet smile playing on her face again. He would always protect that smile.

She crawls into his car, broken, like a lifeless doll and he feels a deep seated upset. She was so unlike herself. Fear for her assailed him and he did not like it. Gone was his smiling happy Kagome and in her place a lifeless creature wearing her skin. They drove in silence, a stubborn tick forming within Sesshomaru's jaw line. Her tears thy had not stopped and the scent of it trapped within the confines of the car. His hands clenched tightly around the steering wheel as she continued to sob silently.

"Kagome…" the deep baritone trailed off. Unsure what to say in that moment he let the silence consume them within the tiny space of the vehicle. Lights and noise of a city alive with life and energy went unseen, as each got lost within their thoughts. And so they sat as Sesshomaru drove to his home within suburbia.

With his arms around her, the two solitary figured entered the house. Holding on to the tiny body pressed against his, Sesshomaru felt tremors rack through her. Sniffles of receding tears came from her. A forlorn sigh escaped the demon prince at his helplessness to aid his friend. He knew she wouldn't want to talk as yet, et it was not in him to wait and impatience clawed at him. Not a word did he emit though his mind was in turmoil. Instead a steady path was made to his room where she would spend the night. This had been a ritual that they had performed on many occasions though never had it been so solemn.

Lifting the sorrowful woman into his arms, he laid within the center of the bed like she was most precious and fragile. She felt his muscled arms encircle her body, cradling her as he lay her down. A whimper escaped her lips. "Please don't leave me," Her huge luminescent eyes sparkled with the crystal drops of her tears. Unable to resist, he found himself reaching down to her, soft lips lying upon lids that had closed. He captured those tears to him, first one lid then the other before he whispered, "I am not leaving. I will be back soon,"

Shivering she managed a nod before burrowing into the pillows that held his scent. She took in a deep breath as she felt covers, rising over her body. A smile made it's way through the tears that were finally ending. Heat blossomed within the pale prince as he watched her lips rise ever slightly. It pained him to see her in such sorrow and but a tiny smile could sooth him inside.

He escaped quietly to the kitchen where he could find something warm to ease her pain. He entered the master suite where she lay in his bed like it was her rightful place and he felt his heart pick up looking at her so peaceful. She had fallen asleep in the time it had taken him to make her a steaming cup of lemon tea. Walking to the night table he placed the cup down and turned to the sleeping woman. He stared at her long and hard, as if memorizing the image. She was so beautiful to him. Pale skin radiated with health. A gorgeous crown of raven black curls framed her face and travelled down a slender expanse of neck. Hot orbs of gold freely took in her sleeping form, openly admiring and desiring.

Sitting at the edge of the bed, he leaned in to softly caress a smooth cheek, enjoying the texture of the warm skin beneath his hand. Clenching his eyes against the need that rushed through him at the murmur of contentment that left her slightly parted lips, he froze. Willing his body to relax, he took in a much-needed breath before he whispered her name gently, needing her to rise.

"Kagome," he said has he shook her gently. "Wake up honey." Lying beside her on the bed, he witnessed the magnificence of her rising. Long lashes rose almost in slow motion as they lifted her lids to show shocking orbs of sapphire. Their curious disoriented heat focused solely on him. He watched the blues darken in recognition and his heart rumble as that recognition brought with it memory of whatever had happened

Lifting her cup of tea to her he bid her drink. "It will help," giving him a tentative smile she accepted the cup and drank from it letting the sourly sweetness assail her taste buds, rising them until the hot heat trailed down her throat. It warmed her where he had felt cold and with appreciation she slowly drank her tea in quiet. She could feel her friend's eyes on her, almost as hot as the tea and it made her feel aware of her self.

Giving the cup to him when she was done she hoped to escape back into the oblivion of sleep but that was not to be. "What happened Kagome?"

The voice was so quiet yet it held almost a compulsion in it. She found her eyes moving to meet his against her will. "I don't want to talk about it." She said hoping that he could see the pleading in her eyes.

"Kagome… please talk to me. I need to know what is wrong," he moved under the covers with her, pulling her closer to his body. "Please tell me why you were crying so." He nuzzled her beneath her neck taking in her scent.

"I can't Sesshomaru. It's so hard." She struggled to keep the tears that threatened to come anew. Just thinking about the humiliation and pain cause her heart to ache. 

"Please Kagome. I need to know." The earnest need in his voice made it hard to deny him but it just hurt to much. "You should know that you can always trust me. Have I not proven this to you on several occasions?" his hands tightened around her just slightly before releasing again. It made her feel so warm inside. 

"I will tell you then but it hurts so much," she looked into his eyes seeking the truth behind his words. Would he be trust worthy? "Last week after we had that fight…" her throat worked difficultly trying to ease the ache that she knew would come with the memory. "I was so angry with you. You knew how I felt about the fact that no male had ever found me…beautiful" she choked on the last word. "Well I was upset when you said that Kouga would never want me cause I wasn't good enough for him," her tears came then. It was inevitable. Lying in the arms of the one person who mattered so much to her it hurt to show him that minor weakness.

"I went over to Kouga's house right from there and… and I seduced him." She felt his entire body still. Afraid to look into his eyes she pushed on with her story. "I should have known back then that he didn't really love me. He was so callous when he took my virginity. It hurt so much," she felt a sob climb up her soar throat and unconsciously hugged onto the arm around her so securely. 

"It's just that I wanted him to love me. No one else ever had and I was willing to suffer a little for that love." Pausing, she tried to collect her courage as she continued. "Well how I know that you were right. He didn't love me. You were completely right. No man can ever look at me and love me for me. He made the abundantly clear today. " she burst into tears unable to tell him just how badly she had been humiliated.

A growl rumbled through his throat as the words poured out of her. Lifting her so that she was straddling his hips he gave her a fierce look. His eyes devoured her, the fire and passion in them scotched her. "Kouga is a pup. He does not know how to treat a woman properly and only seems them as sex toys. He does not respect a woman or her body. This is what I was trying to explain to you. You are a very beautiful woman." Conviction rang in his voice as he allowed her to see the desire that he had been holding in check for so very long.

"You have never had a boyfriend because I did not think that any of them were worthy of you and your lack of confidence is my fault," he hugged her close relishing being able to touch her freely. "I am sorry that your first time was not pleasurable. I assure you that it can be incredibly satisfying if done right and next I see Kouga, I will cut him to shreds."

She shivered in hear and excitement at the anger in his voice. Unconsciously she pressed her clothed body into him, sighing in pleasure. Unknown to her, she was feeling her first stirs of arousal. With a sigh of contentment she shifted position. Her knees and shins resting flat onto the bed as her arms raised around his neck. She shivered slightly as this brought her sensitive body flush against him. He always made her feel so safe.

Quiet descended on the room as the taiyoukai found his nostrils assaulted with the first blossoms of new arousal. Clenching his eyes tightly he felt his body stirring as she pressed her feminine heat so flush against him that he could feel the warmth radiating over his crotch. 

"Kagome…" the strangled growl escaped him as he felt her firm breasts pressed into his chest. Tightening his arms around her for a second as he relished the touch he took in a deep breath before letting her go. "I think you should lie down now," he said hoping that she wouldn't notice the tremor of contained lust in his voice.

Whimpering, her arms tightened even more as she dragged her body that much closer. A moan ran from his lips. He couldn't help the sound as she made contact with his quickly hardening need. Letting his head fall back onto the headboard, the demon prince took in a deep breath to gain control over his raging body. She had suffered a traumatic experience and he knew she was not ready yet. He had been waiting for her for years now, yet it just never seemed like the right time to let her know how he felt. His traitorous body however did not listen to the commands.

Disaster was about to strike but all he could so was groan as he felt his body tighten and thicken in intense arousal. She would have had to have felt it by then so struggling against the effects of his growing need, he waited for her reaction.

Eyes like saucers peered up at him in shock as she came into contact with the evidence of his desire. She could feel it against her stomach and it made her feel strange inside. Moving a little to get away. She froze as a strangled sound of pure want escaped his lips.

"Sesshomaru?" heat rose in her cheeks. Her face felt alight with flame.

"Just give me a second. Don't move." He said behind closed lids, obviously struggling to maintain control of his body.

Her heart swelled with feminine pride that she had aroused him. A smile touched her lips as images played within her mind. Her heart gave a painful lurch of fear at what she was about to do but she would do it anyway. 

Pressing her body firmly into him, she moved her hips just slightly so that she could drag her body over him, caressing his arousal as her nipples dragged over his chest though their clothing. Her eyes had never left his face. She had to know whether or not he really was attracted to her.

Large hands clamped over her thighs stilling her, as an expression akin to pain flashed over his face. "God Kagome, please stop."

"I don't want to stop." Came her whispered reply. Her excitement grew as he fought to stifle a shiver. "I want you to want me." Her lips trailed soft kisses over his neck, her tongue coming out to lap at his rapidly throbbing pulse. "I want you to make love to me." She did not know what she was dong really, she just wanted to touch him. She trusted him.

"You don't know what you're asking," he rasped. "You're still upset. Go to bed. You will feel better in the morning." Her tongue continued its fascinating exploration of his neck, nipping and sucking and licking his skin. Though his said no, the sounds he was making told a completely different story. He wanted her and she would give herself to him.

His tight grip on her thighs had become slow strokes. They played on her nerve endings until he had to hold onto him tightly as a shiver rushed through her causing her to whimper. "Please…" she begged needfully and his already weak defences caved.

"Are you sure you want this," he looked up at her flushed face. She nodded slightly. "Alright but you can say stop whenever you want. I will go slowly for you." She sighed in contentment until he reversed their positions. Her heart thundered as she looked at his shadowed silhouette above her. Closing her eyes she savoured the feeling of his pressed into her. He was not really on her, simply straddling one thigh while his hands supported his massive body above her.

Their eyes connected and held for what seemed like an eternity. It was as if he was waiting for something yet she was content with watching him. And so lifting her hands, she trailed them over his body just so slightly feeling the corded muscle through the casual sweater he wore. Every time her hands trailed over him he shuddered and it made her stomach clench with strange feelings. She smiled up at him and it was like he had been waiting for it.

His head suck down slowly giving her the time she needed to stop him. He felt anticipation rush threw his as their lips drew that much closer to each other. With but a breaths width between then he stopped. Looking up at eyes that had closed in expectation. He felt a smile touch his usually stoic lips and he blew softly onto her moist lips.

She gasped at the sensual feeling of warm air touching her lips, her mouth opening in a look that was pure sin. A throaty moan left her throat as he captured her parted lower lips, just pulling it into his mouth before letting go. A sensuous sliding of lips against lips. Her did it again, drawing it out as he sucked her lip deeper into his mouth. Looking up at her he noticed the irregular breaths. And so he placed a chaste kiss upon her parted lips.

His head slanted as he took her lips again. His tongue darted out slightly, touching the seems between her lips before entering her mouth. She moaned so prettily that he nearly most his control. The sound infused itself within his cells and he savoured it. Running his hands through the soft curls of her hair, he hugged her close until her body stopped shaking and he kissed her again just a bit bolder, his tongue flitting between her lips to taste her. Again she moaned at how erotic it felt having him kiss her. She couldn't stop her self from responding.

Her hands wrapped around his body, she opened her mouth just a bit more to give him entrance. Her heart pounded as she tentatively touched her tongue to his. She shivered as he groaned out loud. A deeply needed breath snaked through her body at the erotic feeling of tongue massaging tongue. She started to stroke his back and neck in her enjoyment. She could feel his muscles bunching beneath the clothing and it made her feel fluttery and hot.

He lessened the kiss until they reverted back to nips and licks, he then withdrew completely. It was so beautiful how careful he was being that she felt herself sighing in pleasure. He stroked her cheek softly; almost lovingly as he gazed into her eyes, his desire was etched within them. Slowly he bent to place soft kisses on each of her eyes. His lips trailing down to the tip of her nose before he reached each cheek. His tongue lapping at the skin. As he worked his way down to her mouth again.

He stopped to give her a deep kiss, enjoying her taste before he once again withdrew. Kissing the corners of her mouth and travelling down to her chin. She arched her body up so his exploration would not be interrupted and met solidly with his body. She moaned. Never had she thought that she would make such a sound. 

He made a sound of appreciation as he felt he connect solidly with him. Burying his face within the hallow of her neck, he savoured the contact. With a shudder, he regained control and continued his downward trail. "You taste delicious. I can spend all night licking every inch of your skin."

His words were so gravely erotic that she felt another shiver race through her. He chuckled over her skin before he took her pounding pulse in his mouth. The warm heat of his mouth sucking on her neck had her clenching her thighs tightly shut at the feelings that accompanied it. He nipped her lightly before his tongue darted out to sooth the bite. Her hands buried in his hair she stroked his main of silvery locks in enjoyment.

Her body tensed up as his hands began to lift her dress, claws ghosting over her naked thighs, whispering over her female heat for but a fraction of a second before making its way up her smooth stomach slowly to stop just below her breasts.

He lifted his head to look at her. He was so aroused that his body was tightly coiled needing release of some sort but he was determined to make sure it was of her choice. "Should I stop?"

She moaned as his fingers continued to stroke the underside of her clothed breasts. "No…" she whispered throatily…


End file.
